It's been a tough week. Thanks to everyone for your kind words and encouragement. I still cry at least once a day, but it's getting better. My eating has been crap. So bad, in fact, that I have been avoiding the scale. I'm afraid that I've gained back the 5 pounds I lost last month--and, maybe more?
(pause while I stop procrastinating & go step on the scale)
Not good, but not as bad as I'd feared. I am up about 2.5 pounds from my weigh in last month. Which means that I'm still down 2.5 pounds for the 2-month period.
It's time to stop letting the grief rule my life and to start taking some action. The plan looks something like this:
1) make a menu plan
2) go to the market
3) actually spend some time in the kitchen cooking (I've not been motivated to do any of this in a couple of weeks)
What have I learned from this? Well, it's relatively easy for me to stick to an eating plan when I have control over what food is available. It's a lot harder for me to make good choices when I'm at a restaurant. Take key lime pie, for example. It's easy not to eat it at home because it's just not here. But it's much harder not to eat it in a restaurant because...well...it's there. And I love key lime pie.
At least now I am more aware. I got a little cocky after the first month. It was so "easy" to lose those 5 pounds. But, I also didn't go out to eat for an entire month! This month I'll work on making better choices in situations where I don't have 100% control.
4 comments:
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. Don't be too hard on yourself though. It sounds like you are ready to move forward. Peace to you, this just takes time.
A couple of things that came out of interview with the psychologist was that a) I feel things more strongly that most people and b) I am too hard on myself. I guess this is a good opportunity to work on both.
I never realized before how comforting it is to have someone wish for peace on my behalf. Thank you.
I really hope things get better for you.. It is hard to stick to a meal plan, but you can do it!
Grieve as much as you need to but still follow your plan....hope things pick up soon
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