still in the closet, but the door is cracked...

I'm not telling anyone about my upcoming surgery...except for immediate family...and a couple of really close friends...and an old friend from high school who I reconnected with on Facebook...and (well, haven't found that person yet, but I'm sure it's coming).  A lot of people have written about the whole tell/don't tell dilemma.  I think everyone has come up with a slightly different solution.  Here's mine:

Who to tell before surgery

I'm only telling the people who will be my main support system from now through recovery.  So far, that includes my husband, mom, dad, sister, sister-in-law, and 3 friends.

Almost everyone I've told has been uber supportive of the idea and they all seem to be happy for me.  I began by letting my family know that this was something I was thinking about and researching.  My husband was a little concerned about the risks (one of his co-workers had some serious complications a couple of years ago), but agreed to go with me to the informational seminar.  He also pro-actively talked with his co-worker in more detail about her experience.  I think he was 100% convinced when she said she'd do it all over again and that it was the best decision she's ever made--despite the complications.  My mother & others, naturally, had questions.  But they all handled it in such a supportive manner.  They didn't question me, they just asked questions about the procedure so that they could understand it better.

I only had one person give a negative response when I told them that I was considering the surgery...and that was what helped me make my decision on how I will handle the telling and not-telling of it.  Prior to surgery, I am telling on a need-to-know basis meaning that I will only tell people who will actually be involved before/during/immediately after the surgery.  At this point, I don't want to have to justify my decision to anyone.  I've done the research.  I am informed.  I understand the risks.  It's the right thing for me.

Who to tell after the surgery

After surgery is a whole different ballgame.  People will notice that I'm losing weight.  People will want to know how.  Some will want to know because they're nosy.  Some will want to know because they have seen me struggle for years and are happy that I finally found something that works.  Some will want to know because they, too, have had issues with weight and are looking for solutions.

I doubt that I'll ever be shouting it from the rooftops...that's not my thing.  But, I do believe in honesty.  So, I think my answer will go something like this:  I lost the weight through healthier food choices, smaller portions, and exercise.  I was able to stick to this plan with the help of the Lap Band.

I think this is a honest and accurate answer.  The Lap Band will not lose the weight for me.  I have to do that myself; I have to do it with smaller portions, healthier choices, and exercise.  The Lap Band is merely a tool--kind of like the treadmill, or running shoes, or even a scale (both for me and for my food).

~BEGIN Mid-post epiphany~

A lot of people have talked about being accused of "taking the easy way out" by getting the Lap Band.  That's like telling someone they took the easy way out because they bought a digital scale to start weighing their food; or, because they bought top-of-the-line running shoes; or, maybe they hired a personal trainer & had a custom gym installed in their basement.  Why is it that it's not considered "cheating" to invest in these types of tools (which largely go unused) but it is considered "cheating" to invest in a Lap Band (which, by the way, will be used 24-hours a day for the rest of our lives)?  

~END mid-post epiphany~

So, there you have it.