my new hat...

I visited with Jenny from Hungry Girl's Diary.  She took me shopping in Olde Town and to an incredible little soup and sandwich place for lunch.  It seems that I am in the habit of buying hats when I shop with fellow bandsters (I got one in Portland while shopping with Tina, too).  We had so much fun!

Yummy band-friendly dish...

I made this last night.  Eating Well magazine's Roasted Winter Vegetables with Cheesy Polenta.  14g Protein per serving!!!  Darrell's assessment was "it's fine"--although he did admit that he'd be happy to eat it again without the polenta.  I thought it was amazing!!! (Yep--4 whole exclamation marks worth of amazing)  For me, the contrast of the sweet roasted vegetables and the tangy parmesan polenta was heavenly! (There I go with more exclamation marks.  I'm excited.  Deal with it.)  So easy to make and so satisfying on a chilly winter evening sitting in front of the fire.

Hope you enjoy!

110/72...

Not my current weight.  Nor is it my pounds lost.  But, it is my most recent blood pressure reading!!!

Christmas came early this year!

Background:  Every other year my sister & her partner spend Christmas in North Georgia with the in-laws.  When that happens, my family generally celebrates a few days early so that we can all be together.  This was one of those years.  

My family (Mom & Dad, Sis & Sis-in-Law, Me & Hubby) celebrated yesterday and I must say it was a most fabulous celebration!  I got Kindle gift cards, some Keen sandals that I've been wanting for 3 years (I've been asking for them every Christmas since 2007) and, I got this...

My former cooktop was a 4-burner electric and original to the house (built in 1977).  My most amazing husband bought me this professional series 5-burner gas cooktop and had the gas-line run to the kitchen and the cooktop installed this morning (while I was out at a doctor's appointment).

Of course, I ran right out to the grocery store and bought a brisket!  I don't know why I bought a brisket.  I've never eaten brisket. And, I've certainly never cooked brisket. But, as soon as I saw the unit installed, I thought to myself "I should go get a brisket!" It just seemed like the right thing to do.  It's currently simmering away on my handy ultra-low simmer setting and will hopefully be edible by 7:30.  

I'm using a modified version of this Crock-Pot Coffee Braised Brisket recipe from Real Simple Magazine.

Cheers! & Happy Holidays!

poop...poo...doo-doo...dookie...crap...caca...(possible TMI)

Four days ago, I ran out of Fiber 35 powder (similar to Benefiber).  I usually put about 1 Tbsp in my smoothies every morning.  I do this because with the "protein first" and all that, I feel like I might not be getting enough fiber from vegetables & such.

Four days ago, I pooped.  Today, I pooped again.  There was no pooping in between.  It was uncomfortable.  And, such a relief!  I haven't weighed myself, but I swear I feel 10 lbs lighter!

Note to self:  Never, never, never run out of fiber powder.  Ever.  The End.  

and then there was eggnog...

Apparently, I drank an entire days worth of calories last night--in the form of eggnog (sans alcohol).  Did you know the stuff has 200 calories for just 1/2 cup?!?!?!  Yep, if you do the math you'll see that I drank 3 cups of the stuff equalling 1200 calories.  Oy!--no wonder Santa has a big belly!

Cheers!

food journaling success...traveling...and an apology... (not necessarily in that order)

APOLOGY:

First, I'd like to apologize for my little outburst yesterday.  As it turns out, I'd forgotten to take my Lexapro for 3 days and, as my husband would undoubtedly confirm, extreme and undue grumpiness is one of my biggest symptoms.

FOOD JOURNALING:

Now onto the main event.  It would seem that my food journaling is having a positive impact--and after only 4 days!  I think the biggest benefit is that it makes me aware of EVERYTHING that goes in my mouth.  I am also more aware of how much water I am (or am not) drinking.  I have discovered that if I eat purposefully and mindfully, then I come in right around the 1000-1200 calorie mark and have no problem meeting my daily protein goal (more about this and hair loss in another post).

As you may notice from my graph, my weight has started moving downward again.  YIPPEE!!!  And, I am going to set a fairly aggressive goal...10lb loss in the next 4 weeks.  That's 2.5 lbs/week and something I haven't achieved since the first month after surgery.  Why so aggressive?--I'm turning 40 on January 6 and really want to be under 200 lbs.  I think I have the food and water under control.  But, in order meet this goal, I absolutely must exercise!

TRAVELING:

Here's the part where I need your advice and recommendations.  Darrell and I will be staying with friends in Fort Collins for about a week at the end of the year.  Everyone there knows about the surgery and has been extremely supportive.  However, since my last mega-fill, I have had to be "picky" about my eating--especially with my morning smoothies (regular breakfast is an absolute NO for me these days).

How to you maintain Band-appropriate eating while also being a gracious house-guest?

Cheers!

cleaning house...

In order to help me with my focus on ME, I am doing some "house-cleaning" in blogland today.  Specifically, I'm getting familiar with the "un-follow" button.  I realized that I'm following waaaaay to many blogs--and I don't even really read many of them.  I spend a lot of time filtering through my blog list and that's just a waste of time.  

The criteria for un-following is:

1. The blog author doesn't follow me
2. The blog hasn't been updated in 2+ months
3. The blog is negative
4. The blog just doesn't speak to me

I lost a follower recently and was surprised that it didn't bother me much.  I suppose my blog just didn't speak to her/him.  Maybe we didn't have much in common, or maybe what is important to me is not important to them.  It happens.  Carry on.

So, if I un-followed you and you think it might have been a mistake (i.e. you comment here often, or we've swapped emails, or maybe I've commented on your blog recently) please let me know.

Cheers!

PS  I'm also changing my "follow" status from public to anonymous on ALL blogs.  That way, I'll avoid the confrontations of "why did you stop following me but you're still following her?"

food log revelations...

After only 2 days of tracking my food intake, I already have had a revelation--I eat more than I thought!

I have been amazed at how many calories I've been taking in (I know the ice cream doesn't help!).  I honestly thought that I was well below the 1000 calorie mark.  However, I should still be losing faster based on the actual calorie count.  So, I will continue to look for other indicators of what is stalling my weight loss.

The most obvious potential villains are:

1. exercise
2. water

I am failing spectacularly in the water & exercise department.  The water is an easy fix:  Today, I commit to drinking 8oz of water prior to every meal/snack. That should give me the boost I need.

The exercise will be more difficult to get under control (just because I'm essentially lazy).  But, it will not be impossible:  Today, I commit to walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes at no less than 3.5 speed/2% incline.  The sad thing is that I really enjoy exercising if I can only convince myself to get started.

I will need more data in order to identify trends of what does/doesn't get stuck (and when).

Thanks to everyone for the encouragement!

Food log info

If you're interested in my food log, you can access it here (password: imaboob).

progress (ish)?

Starting weight:  241.5

Day of surgery weight:  231.5

Current weight:  211.5

Months since surgery: 6

Weight loss since surgery:  20 lbs

Although I am glad to be making progress, I will admit to being frustrated with the snail's pace.  You may remember earlier posts where I talked about how the band is "just a tool" and that I would still have to work in order to make it successful.  I believed that then and I believe it now.  But, I really thought it would be easier and that the weight would come off more quickly.

This hasn't been an easy road for me.  I've been very disappointed with my aftercare and am in the process of trying to get on with a different doctor.  I have trouble getting in for fills, which led me to accept a "too tight" fill in October.  I've been stuck. I've PB'd too many times to count.  I am often in pain or hungry.  I've lost about 1 lb in the last 2 months.

But, I realized recently that I can't really blame it all on my crappy doctor's office and their lack of support/concern/availability.  I haven't been exercising.  I don't measure my food.  I don't plan my meals.  I'm not actively following the "rules."  

Why not?  This is a question that I have been pondering for the last week or so.  And, I think I've figured it out.  I have been trying to live & eat like a band-ster at the end of my journey and not like one at the beginning.  I have been relying on the band to tell me what to do (what to eat, when to stop, etc) but I haven't given myself enough time to learn it's language.  

So, now I have to put my money where my mouth is.  I need to figure out how to work WITH the band and not AGAINST it.  As much as I hate to do this, I am going to start keeping a food log.  Not only to track nutrients & calories, but also to track what does & doesn't work for me and my band.  This way, I can hopefully figure out patterns and do a better job of planning.  I have to realize that at this stage in my journey, I am not experienced enough to just "wing it."  I am still learning--and learning requires research & study.

I will probably be taking a break from the blogs for a while.  While I will still be posting on my own blog (after-all, this is supposed to be my journal), I may not be reading or commenting on others.  I need to focus on my own journey for a while and not get distracted by others.  

Cheers!
Lynda

potstickers...

Apparently, the pot-stickers that went down just fine for dinner last night (yay for solid food!) do NOT go down just fine for breakfast.  :)

Thanksgiving was great!  I had my soup and a couple of bites of sweet potato souffle.  I even managed a few bites of pumpkin bread pudding!  The whole family knows about the band, but I was relieved that they didn't have to witness any "incidents."  

I've also had a much better time with solids the last few days.  It's still a crap shoot most days, but things are getting better.  As long as I stick to my smoothies for breakfast (no more left-over Chinese) and something light & mushy for lunch (soup, etc) I can usually manage a few bites of whatever Darrell is eating for dinner.

Still not losing--but, at least I'm feeling better. :)

Cheers!

My first Thanksgiving with the band...

We're hosting both families at our house for Thanksgiving...TONIGHT!  My FIL has to work on Thursday, so my family very generously agreed to celebrate a day early.  Plus, my dad's birthday is Thursday so now he doesn't have to share his special day. Funny how that works out, huh? :)

So, I've been cooking since Sunday.  It's not that I'm cooking a lot of food (we only have 10 people to feed), it's just that the things I am cooking have many, many components.  Here's the menu:

Turkey (brined & roasted a la Alton Brown)




Giblet gravy

Manee's cornbread dressing

Mashed Yukon Gold potatoes

Roasted Butternut Squash & Pear Soup w/ smoked blue cheese & crumble bacon







Grandmama's Angel biscuits

Mom's sweet potato souffle w/ praline topping

Sauteed green beans w/ garlic & prosciutto

Cranberry sauce (home-made)

Nantucket Cranberry Pie

Pumpkin Bread Pudding w/ creme anglaise & apple-caramel sauce



Out of all of that, the only thing I'll be eating is the soup since I still can't handle solid foods after my GARGANTUAN fill last month.  C'est la vie.

Cheers!

new doctor progress...

I called the new doctor's office today and started the ball rolling.  I sent them my surgical report and am now just waiting for them to call me back (the doctor wants to review the report before accepting me as a patient) to set up my first appointment.  It will probably be a couple of weeks since next week is Thanksgiving.  I'm okay with that.  It's just a relief to know that thinks are going to be changing soon.  They confirmed that fills can usually be scheduled within a week of calling (no more than 2 weeks, tops!).  And, while they generally do fills on MWF, they can always work someone in any day of the week for an emergency or special circumstance.  Fingers crossed!

PS  I'm not posting my "daily food log" like everyone else since my daily intake is so screwed up from being too tight.  Mostly, I'm can only keep down coffee, smoothies & soup.  Everything else causes problems (even the mozzarella cheese I was able to eat last week).  I'll post something once I get things straightened out.

I think I've finally come to the decision that my last fill was just a bit too much.  This morning, I'm having trouble with my smoothie.  It's not the first time.

It's also time for me to take the plunge and sign up with a new doctor.  You may remember in some of my previous posts that I'm not entirely happy with the after-care I've received.  Here's a recap:

• Appointments are a hassle.  It took over 2 months to get scheduled for my last fill!  During that time, I lost a whopping total of 1.5 lbs.  What a waste of time.
• My doctor is totally uninterested in my progress.  The only time he has asked any questions about my weight loss, how I'm feeling, etc. was to satisfy insurance requirements so that they could keep their "Center of Excellence" status.  He even apologized to me for asking all the questions!
• He was horrified when I told him about Chicago.  "Like a club?!?!?" he exclaimed with a look of disgust on his face.
• I can't call my doctor's office directly.  I have to call a Call Center and then they send a message to my doctor's secretary (usually they get the message wrong) who then calls me back (usually at least a week later).  
• The center tries to blame all of the delays on the insurance company.  However, I've talked to my insurance company and they always approve procedures within 48 hours of getting the request.  Somebody's fibbing.
• Overall, the aftercare is just completely disappointing....so, I'm gonna change doctors.

I have found a center in the metro-Atlanta area that seems to be what I'm looking for.  They have an office that does nothing but Lap-Band and they tell me that you can usually get a fill appointment within a week of calling (usually only a few days).  I have already requested my medical records from my current doctor and just need to make the call.

Another WTF? eating moment....this morning smoothies are a problem but bacon is okay. Wha??????  Oh, and apparently I've gained 4 pounds in the last 3 days.  How?--I haven't been able to eat anything.  This does NOT make sense.  I would call my doctor, but...(see bullet points above).

boot camp...

About a 2 months before my surgery, I bought a Groupon for 1-month Boot Camp.  The Groupon expires on Dec. 31.  I guess that means I'm going to Boot Camp next week.  Wish me luck!

Cheers!

i can eat...

...fresh mozzarella, but not tofu.  WTF?????

soooooo close...

I have been flirting with 30lbs down for over two months!--and today I'm 1/4 lb closer.  I swear I will get there before Thanksgiving!  I will, I will, I will.

My 3rd fill is definitely making a difference.  Although, I'm still not 100% convinced that it's not too tight.  I'm most certainly finding that there are foods I can't handle (crackers) at any time and that I should not try to eat solid food in the morning.  Oddly, steak seems to go down just fine, but I have trouble with eggs.  Go figure.

More later--just wanted to get a quickie in before heading out to the Botanical Gardens for volunteering.

Cheers!

sad because it's true...

My husband (who is an Atkins man) just announced to me, "I'm losing weight, but it coming off sooooo slowly.  I've lost 19 pounds, but it took 3 months."  To which I replied, "I've lost 19 pounds, too.  But, it took me 5 months...and you didn't have surgery!"

Granted, I lost 10 pounds before surgery, so it's 29 pounds total...but still.  Argh!

i have restriction, but i'm not sure i like it...

I had my first attempt at "real" food this morning after 4 days of liquids following my fill on Thursday.  Egg salad--two small bites--extreme nausea.  I don't feel "stuck" and I didn't experience any PB or sliming.  I just feel really full and really nauseated.  Maybe I'll go back to my morning smoothie and try again later.

Has anyone else experienced nausea after a fill?  Maybe this is something else and not related to the fill at all?  Keeping my fingers crossed for my 2nd attempt at "real" food this afternoon.

***UPDATE***
Looks like I might be one of those "tight in the morning" people.  Dinner last night went pretty well--2 oz. grilled ribeye & butter-braised Brussels sprouts.  This morning, I'm back to struggling with just a smoothie.  At least I'm not hungry! :)

Cheers!

yummiest smoothie EVAR!

OK, maybe not ever.  But, it's pretty darn good.  I think I've finally found a good, basic recipe that I can use with whatever fruit is on hand.  The key ingredients are Greek yogurt, egg-white protein powder (doesn't have that awful aftertaste), and just a smidgen of liquid.  I use frozen fruit and was having a problem with it turning into "ice cream" instead of a drink.  2 oz. of apple juice or Naked Protein Zone helps keep it liquid-y.

6 oz Vanilla Greek Yogurt (or plain+1 tsp agave nectar)

1/2 scoop unflavored egg-white protein powder

1 tsp flax oil

1/2 frozen banana

1 cup frozen mixed fruit

2 oz Naken Protein Zone (flavor depends on what fruit I've used)

This morning I used frozen mango & pineapple and used the Mango Protein Zone.  Last night I had blueberry & cantaloupe with the Mixed Berry Protein Zone.  

And here's the best part...32 grams protein!!!

2.25+3.0+1.5=

6.75cc's in mah belly! Fill was agressive & Dr. Lin considered taking some back, but finally decided to let me try it out. I had to promise to do liquids through the end of the weekend. Right now, I'm gurgling from the barium swallow.

Chicago Part Deux

I fear this may be a bit of a let down for you guys after all of the build up.  Let's just say that I ran out of steam.  Plus,  I had a hard time getting what was in my head (and my heart) to make sense on paper.  So, here's the "epiphany" in bullet formation:

• I am too sensitive.
• I am much more introverted than I thought I was.
• I do not perceive myself the way others perceive me.
• My perception of the way others perceive me is not actually the way others perceive me.
• People like me a lot more than I generally think they do--even when I'm being shy. [insert big grin here]

po-tay-to, po-tah-to...

So far, I have been pleased to find that there haven't been any foods that I can't tolerate...until recently.  It seems that potatoes are becoming a problem food for me.  While I've experienced some painful moments with many different foods (due to not chewing thoroughly and eating too fast), I experienced my first PB a few weeks ago off of tater tots.  Then again last week--french fries.  And again a few days ago--roasted baby red potatoes.  Because I'm stubborn (and I love them), I'll have to see what happens with a baked potato.  I do not want to make a habit of the PB thing.  So sad to say farewell to my beloved friend.

fill 'er up....

Fill #3 finally scheduled for next week (Thursday, October 28).  It seems that #3 is the magic number for many people.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!


Cheers!

quickie about B.O.O.B.s t-shirts...

Did anyone else notice that the BOOBs t-shirts were manufactured by "Port & Company."  How appropriate!  I got a kick out of that. :)

PICTURES: how i spend my time while i'm [NOT] losing weight...

Weight loss is slow-to-non-existant these days...1.5 lbs since August 26.  As I've mentioned before, it's really difficult to get timely fill appointments.   Also, I know that I still owe y'all "My Chicago Epiphany (Part 2b-The Revelation).  But, that post is kind of emotionally heavy and I just needed to focus on other things for a while.

I've been taking a beginner digital photography class on Monday mornings(Photography 101 @ The Showcase School).  My instructor, Jeff Woodlee, is just great!--a great photographer and a great teacher.  I have completed 4 weeks of the 6 week course.  Just to show off what I've learned, here are a few shots that I took @ the Atlanta Botanical Gardens this morning.  Enjoy!

PS  Apparently I like taking pictures of bees. ;)

my Chicago Epiphany (Part 2a)...

At the end of Part 1, I had just overheard an unflattering conversation about myself.  How did I respond?--I shut down and hid.  I was deflated and embarrassed and just couldn't bring myself to go back out there.  My already fragile ego was shattered.  I took put on my PJ's, took and Ambien and went to bed.

The next morning, I turned to food and ate a bag of popcorn for breakfast.  I decided to lick my wounds and spend the morning alone--mostly because I had hidden the night before and didn't know how to find anyone else.  It was a nice, peaceful morning.  I spent the afternoon shopping with Rani--all the while trying to avoid other B.O.O.B.s.  

I basically didn't really put myself out there the rest of the weekend.  I showed up to events and even had some great conversations.  But, I didn't open up.  I had what I call "customer service" conversations.  I was friendly;  I told some stories; I laughed a little and even cried once.  But,  I had a wall up and didn't allow my true self to show.  I was myself, but just dimmed.

I had a nice weekend--but it was just "nice".  I absolutely love Chicago and was thrilled to be back!  But, because I held myself in check, I didn't make any of the "BFF" connections that some  others have talked about.  I feel like I missed out and I have only myself to blame.

As you all know, it took me a while to really process all of this.  I was so emotionally drained when I got home that I slept for most of the next day.  Then I read some blogs and started realizing something....everyone else is not as obsessed with me as I am with myself.  I also realized, eventually, that I have a problem with perception.  Not just with my perception of myself.  But, more importantly, with my perception of how other people perceive me.  (yes, I know that's a bit of a tongue twister) 

More on that in Part 2b.

My Chicago epiphany (Part 2 teaser)...

...perception.


PS  Is it just me, or does that word look really strange when you type it all by itself.  I must have spell-checked 10 times before posting. 

house guests, my dad & part 2 (delayed)...

I don't mean to keep y'all in suspense, but Part 2 won't be coming until next week.  We have a house guest coming in from Detroit for the weekend.  There are still a few "finishing touches" for the house and then it's Hostess time for a while.

For those of you who have asked, my dad is doing great!  (For those who don't know, my dad was in the ER on the Wed. before BOOBs and got a pacemaker as I was boarding the flight to Chicago on Thursday.  He told me he'd never speak to me again if I post-poned my trip...so I went)  His incision sight is still sore, but the swelling is going down.  He looks better than he has in several years.  His face isn't swollen; his eyes & mouth aren't droopy; his coloring is healthy; and he's smiling a lot more.  He's always been quick-witted and that had been slipping (we were concerned about Alzheimer's since it runs in the family).  Well, his wits are back!  He's made some pretty wicked-witty comments lately!

So, look for Part 2 early next week.  And--thank you for all the comments on my Part 1 post.  Maria---that shirt is yours (as soon as I'm finished with it)!